While staying in a small boutique hotel, I found myself waiting for the elevator late at night. In walked a women well into her 30s, sporting expensive but not exactly classic looking designer clothes. She was well made up, wore a large wrap coat and had on high heels. I can't say that she was a stunningly beautiful woman who would make heads turn. There was no reason for me to notice her; however, it was the cold feeling that entered the room with her that made an impression - a certain calculating air. She might have dressed herself up, but she was one tough number.
She exchanged words with the staff member at the front desk. "Yes, it was a busy evening. Things were crazy up there", she told him. I quickly discerned that she was talking about the so-called "high end exotic dancer" (AKA "stripper") club located next door and a few floors up. Surely, I thought, this woman works at this club. How ironic. Here we have the object of men's desires (as the expression goes) - the performer for men I know - in all her cold fish limpness. It wasn't exhaustion I detected. It was a cold attitude that left me with shivers. I wondered how she could pull off one of the sensual dances that strippers feel they accomplish. More to the point - how could this woman make any man "hot and bothered"?
This posting is for readers age 18+
Lately there have been a plethora of articles about female professionals utilizing their physical assets and taking up "exotic dancing" after losing their jobs in sectors such as the finance industry. The stories have run in newspapers and on TV. There are even reports about women signing up to work at prostitute houses in Nevada. Recently a column has been running about a former employee at Lehmann Brothers who is now working as stripper. Her latest installment describes how the club owner sets her up for a sideline "sex for lots of cash" escort job. $3,000 to be precise. I have been following this column with interest. I don't expect the author to completely discredit the strip club and related escort activities. After al,l she has to justify her choices and maintain her feeling of self worth. Indeed, the way her column is progressing, it's almost becoming a loving testimony to inspire other women. Still, these articles are great treasure troves of cliched statements and myths. The type of statements that always seep out when "patrons" or employees of strip bars defend this industry.
Here is how the author describes the clients:
They came in in packs, were encouraged to drink themselves silly and, before they realised what they had done, had spent a fortune paying for the odd dance, some 'companionship', or drugs (and sometimes all three). And mostly they were taken for a ride.
One night some colleagues from Lehman's come to the club and one of them shouted "Grace, you old tart. You've finally found your true vocation!". She responds by "pushing [her] rear-end right in his face." I find this exchange interesting and depressing at the same time.
Remembering the Not So Good Old Days
I was old enough in the '70s and early '80s to watch the sexist rubbish that women had to put up. It was an era when fashion dictated that they trotted to work in their well made up faces, high heels, and shape revealing silky blouses. "Little honey" comments were the order of the day. As feminism and political correctness took hold, more space was carved out for female professionals. Generation Y women today never question that they will be treated as anything but equal in the workforce. So here we have this "skanky" Lehman worker telling a former finance professional that really all she was ever good for was shaking her tits and ass. Lovely. How does this story fit into the confidence that "alpha girls" - today's young women - have about their value in the workplace?
There are many myths about these clubs and related activities that are pulled through pop culture and private conversations. Generally speaking there are different roles in these clubs; the odd dancer who doesn't disrobe - keeping underwear on, at least; the private room performer; the lap dancer; the employees who unofficially go the extra mile; and the off-the-books side jobs, as we see described by the ex-Lehmann's employee. As a woman, it is hard to challenge the context of these jobs without feeling that our own bodies are being assessed as we talk. If we sport high heels and brassieres stuffed with silicone or large versions of mammary glands, we might be heard. If our physical standards fall short or if we are a day over 35 we will be written of as having a case of "stripper envy".Myth # 1: If you want to feel empowered, become a stripper
"It's almost like what was seen as sexist 20 years ago has been repackaged as empowerment and liberation for women in the 21st century. It is difficult to make choices in today's pornified culture which bombards us with the message that raunch culture is where it's at for women in 2009." Sandrine Levêque (human rights activist)It's always the same. You read interviews with women who choose to be strippers and they have the same story. I'll leave out the stories of single mothers who feel it's their only option to make money. They rarely speak to the press. I'll leave out the stories of the many women with low self esteem and troubled backgrounds. They end up on shows like Dr. Phli, and their stories aren't pretty. I'll leave out the trafficked women from Eastern Europe who are forced into strip clubs in small city Canada and systematically raped behind the scenes. They're living under duress and probably don't get out much. (These stories have even been discussed in the Canadian media documentaries and Parliament, in case you think I exaggerate.)
No, I'm talking about those women who claim to like the money, the feeling of control and the feeling of "empowerment". Before the word "empowerment" gets thrown around too much, let's look at some definitions of what empowerment means.
One website dedicated to the topic, lists commonly agreed upon definitions:
- Having decision-making power.
- Having access to information and resources.
- Having a range of options from which to make choices (not just yes/no, either/or.)
- Assertiveness.
- A feeling that the individual can make a difference (being hopeful).
- Learning to think critically; learning the conditioning; seeing things differently; e.g.,
- Learning to redefine who we are (speaking in our own voice).
- Learning to redefine what we can do.
- Learning to redefine our relationships to institutionalized power.
- Learning to redefine who we are (speaking in our own voice).
- Learning about and expressing anger.
- Not feeling alone; feeling part of a group.
- Understanding that people have rights.
- Effecting change in one's life and one's community.
- Learning skills (e.g., communication) that the individual defines as important.
- Changing others' perceptions of one's competency and capacity to act.
- Coming out of the closet.
- Growth and change that is never ending and self-initiated.
- Increasing one's positive self-image and overcoming stigma.
It really is a bit of a stretch to say that any of these definitions apply to a stripper club. Certainly from a feminist perspective, empowerment involves women being more than objectified entertainment for the opposite gender - even if the money is good and it isn't a 9 - 5 cubicle job.
Myth #2: Exotic Dancers are dream girls - the ultimate fantasy of men.
If you follow the career of Ben Affleck you will know that his failed relationship with Jennifer Lopez was further complicated when he got cozy with one or more strippers in Vancouver. One of these women helps to perpetrate myth # 1.
"What woman doesn't want to be the dream girl - the object of the men's fantasy? What woman wouldn't want to play that role?", Ben Affleck's companion for the night asks when describing her pole dancing classes.
It must make it easier to justify this industry when a stripper tells herself that the men in the audience desire her and think she is the ultimate of all women, at least physically. Why she could only get a bigger ego boost if she became a top rated model. But do these men think she is the ultimate female partner?
Many ex strippers and some pole dance class operators admit that they don't miss the nightly slander and verbal abuse. Certainly these mocking clients hold strippers in a dim light. As for the rest, the male professionals I know who have visited these clubs regularly or periodically would never date or marry a stripper, would not consider one as a social equal, would mock any male contemporaries who would try to do so and would certainly not approve of their own daughter being in such a job. Desire in its ultimate form isn't about lust and base motivations. It is grounded in deep admiration.
I can see how it might be uplifting to feel sexy, no matter what your body looks like But I would have to ask: Why do you associate sexiness and power with being a stripper? The real danger is that there are so few images of healthy adult female sexuality around. If [pole dancing] classes were just one of many ways women used to feel powerful, it wouldn’t be dangerous, but this image of the stripper or porn star seems to be the only one out there. (Sharon Lamb, a professor of psychology at Saint Michael’s College in Vermont.)
The other day I finally bit the bullet and watched a full episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. It was one of the first episodes. One of the housewives (see photo above) explains that 85% of women in the area have had breast implants. In her case she was encouraged by her husband to increase her breast size from 32A to 32D. She felt it was something that she could do as a woman over 40 to help her husband see her as the trophy - fantasy - woman. She also explained that once she quit her career in her late 20s to have children, she enjoyed going to Pilates class and planning little dances for her husband when he came home. Following this advice, a 24 year old housewife tells her husband to come home so that she can perform a strip tease for him - pink boa et al. If the show had been made but a few years later, she probably would have bought a stripper pole.While there is nothing wrong with presenting yourself well when you are over 40, or having a sensual encounter with your partner, it is clear that the driving influence for the "prove that you are sexy and sexual" choices exhibited on Real Housewives of Orange County are based on media supported cultural ideals and fantasies about the ideal women. Pop-culture observer Michael Barson calls stripper chic a "watershed ... a big trend. It seems to be permeating deeper and deeper, like an ink stain sinking into an Oxford shirt."
Grand Theft Auto video game
The idealized notion of the female body has always been evident in Playboy magazine. Playboy’s Playmate data sheets (you know, where they claim to enjoy cupcakes and The Deer Hunter) provide height and weight, among other stats. Our analysis shows that models are shedding pounds and gaining altitude at an alarming rate. To be fair, Playmates provide their own measurements, so they could be exaggerating. Plus, we wouldn’t put it past the editors to stretch the truth (i.e., Miss March 2008 may not actually want to write “comedic short stories” — or have a 21-inch waist). But who cares? What’s interesting isn’t the veracity of the numbers, it’s what the magazine thinks its readers will find ideal. (Wired magazine)
Are Those Real?On the touchy subject of implants, Playboy's policy seems to be don't ask, don't tell. We plotted each model's bust size (chest circumference at the fullest points) and cup size (breast volume) for all years that data were available (early '90s to now). While busts have shrunk faster than your 401(k), cup size has remained a buxom C or D. We don't think evolution can explain this phenomenon. (Wired magazine)
So while the average male may not truly desire an actual stripper, many are holding the women in their lives to the standards that they see in the media and in strip clubs. This standard affects not only how they wish their partner's bodies would look, but how they think a girlfriend or wife should dress and act in the bedroom.
What Am I Wearing? Stripper Shoes
Why is laboring to look like Pamela Anderson empowering? In Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture, Ariel Levy discusses how porn got to be pop and why feminism is such a dirty word.
Google even provides a Virtual Stripper gadget
...and for variety your Virtual Girlfriend can strip for you too
...and for variety they offer you the car wash girls
Myth #3: The motivations behind these clubs involve high ideals
The owner of a club in Vancouver, believes "women should have the "power and the right" to use their sexuality without being victimized for it. "If you are comfortable with using your sensuality and that gives you joy and it makes you a good living and there are others who enjoy it, then it's a win-win situation," she says. Certainly these activities are making this owner of this popular club a good living. The local press describes her club as "Vancouver's sexiest adult-themed club, where women are forever "girls" and the most ornery horn-dogs are always "gentlemen." She describes her life story in the following terms:
In her mid-teens she was pulled out of high school and forced into an arranged marriage in Turkey with a controlling and violent man more than 20 years her senior. While pregnant, she returned to Canada, changed her name and ran away from the "repressive environment" of her youth. "What motivated me to get out of it was that I was pregnant, and pregnant with a daughter," she says. As single mum, she eventually relocated to Vancouver and worked the service industry and the trade-show circuit. "That along with bikini modeling," she says, laughing. "Which I think got me a lot further than the trade shows ever did."
Now the owner is in control and the most successful "suits" are operating on her terms as she takes money from them and provides "the girls". In her world she is liberated from male chauvenism while serving up a chauvenistic ideal of what a woman - forever a "girl"- is. Her initial plan was to makes money off of Asian business men. Meanwhile clubs like hers - high end or not - have become places where married men can sneak off into private rooms and lust after other women while the latter grind them in an anything but innocent manner. Considering the personal background of this club owner, someone like this probably doesn't care about the moral implications of this type of moral infidelity. For her it's a win-win. The owner and the "girls" get their money and the men get a service.
OBJECT challenges ‘sex object culture’ – the increased sexual objectification of women in the media and popular culture through lads' mags, advertising or lap dancing clubs.OBJECT discusses the definition of sex-object culture
Myth #4: We're talking about sensuous entertainment - dancing et al.
For an example of this type of "sensuous and exotic" dancing, search for "Fitness May 16, 2008 no nudity" on You Tube. Watching this video, I am reminded of a woman I knew in Vancouver when I was in my early 20s. She was 39 at the time and had a 20 year old son. She had experienced a lot of abuse and travails in her life and had left home to live on the streets when she was 11. Presumably working as a stripper - as she described her work experience - was her ticket to raising her son and surviving. If she was 5' 5" that would have been a stretch. She looked worn out and clearly had used drugs in the past, yet bounced along like she was still sporting high heels and tripping along down the strip club stage. There was nothing sensual about her movements. I was not reminded of a ballerina, a professional dancer, a belly dancer or an Indian dance dancer, for example. Her movements spoke more of "strutting your stuff" - just as you will see in the You Tube video mentioned above.
Recently actress Heather Graham reported on her preparations for a stripper scene in a recent movie. She took dance classes, visited stripper clubs and reported that she was astonished after seeing the less than impressive antics of her real-life counterparts. She" went to a strip club to prepare for the role but it was a big disappointment. [She'd] taken these classes on how to dance but if you go to a strip club, no-one's dancing. Everyone just stands there. The girls are all just on stage and it's all about lap dances."
Belly dancing - sensual movement with your clothes on
So women can propel themselves upside down on a pole and twirl around. You can see their privates from every angle. But is this sensual entertainment? A case in point is a dance routine visible in another You Tube posting. Yes, her clients will definitely become well acquainted with her underside. So what? In the majority of cases where clothing is removed one has to ask "is it really necessary to remove the clothing in order to make the "dance" sensuous"? Similarly is it necessary to strip to your nickers and other black lace accessories to suggest a sensual experience? If the stripper came out in, and kept on, a ballerina's outfit would onlookers hoot as loud?
Myth #5: The only way a woman can be well remunerated is to use her body in some fashion
If you think of women who are making a sizable amount of money, does a talented entrepreneur or highly educated academic come to mind? How about a business woman or politician? Fortunately we have women like Oprah Winfrey or Martha Stewart (despite the latter's temporary fall from grace) as famous examples. Recently Martha recalled her time as a model working in New York City in the 1960s. "It was awful", she snorted. For the most part, though, the most visible examples we see involve super models, movie stars (who rely on their good looks) and... well this is where we start to grasp at straws.
It is a recurring theme - women working in the "exotic dance" industry talk about making a lot of money for a relatively small amount of work. While they may have to wait in dressing rooms, and work the room in a vigorous manner, they are still making the equivalent of a woman's average weekly wages in one or two nights.
There are few jobs for men that bring in a healthy sum of money in a short period of time. Those jobs that do pay well are often subject to scrutiny and scorn. Think of certain professions, employees in the financial sector etc.
Then of course there are the illegal jobs - gangster, money launderer, drug dealer and pimp. Not the best way to make a buck.
Yes it is a fact of life - there is no free lunch in life and short roads to wealth are few and far between.
A former stripper describes her previous earning potential this way:
Don't do it . Its awful. I did that when I was 18-19. I made about 4- 5 hundred dollars a night but I was not willing to do all the extras that the girls who made 800-1000 a night did. It's degrading .I mean it really is gross. I'm a loan officer now and make more money now and feel great about how I made my earnings and don't have to have a secret life to hide what I do."
Despite the relatively gloomy income earning potential for many women, there are options for women who want to make a healthy living. They can join certain job sectors or, more commonly these days, they can start a successful business as a self-employed entrepreneur. For once I would like someone to go on record and say "you do not have to use your body in some fashion in order to make a healthy wage as a woman".
Unfortunately there is increased coverage in the media of the financial returns possible for women using their bodies in the strip club and sex industry.
William Fried, a management consultant, told eighth graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing could pay $250,000 or more a year, depending on the dancer's bust size. He told pupils, "For every two inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary."
Myth #6: You can be the one in control in this type of job. Or. Who's really in control?
One cannot contrast stripping with a job that has few opportunities for initiative and autonomy, such as a limited 9 to 5 cubicle desk job. There are many, many jobs out there in which women are making their own decisions, setting their own work schedule and controlling what comes next. Still, the claim of being "in control for a change" is one of the most commonly circulated statements about stripping.
Because you learn to feel better about your body, to feel feminine and desirable. The men were always telling me how beautiful I am; women like to hear that. And the feeling of power you have sometimes is intoxicating; when I was doing table dances I could touch the men, but they couldn't touch me. (An American woman describing her experiences stripping in Japan.) What a curious statement. Japan, in my experience, is a country where the objectification of women is rarely questioned. From personal experience living many years in that country, I can say with confidence that Japan is not a country where I could learn to feel better about my body.
As the Lehmann Brothers ex-employee proves in her first installment, she couldn't go into a club and simply do what she wanted. After her first night her boss made it clear to hear that her choice to simply hug a pole and dance her booty off was not acceptable. He laid out what she had to do. While she might choose to flash her rear into the face of a former employee, or anyone else for that matter, her efforts would have been all for naught if the man chose to withhold his cash. Similarly, while these women may not be working 9 to 5, they are still working within some type of schedule and are expected to perform according to certain criteria. The context of "control" that strippers describe nominally the criteria for a situation where one is making decisions and controlling outcomes.
Actress Sheila Kelley danced in strip clubs to prepare for roles on TV. She has since started stripping classes in Los Angeles. "It's pretty awful to crawl across the stage for two or three dollars from some guy", she admits.
Image: Hollywood depiction of strippingAnother former stripper - now pole dance instructor - recounts her experiences. "Society is all sexed out and crazy." Tired of stripping for men, she quit dancing and began offering drop-in classes. "I didn't feel good when I was doing it for men, I felt anger."
Myth 7: Critics of strip clubs are poorly informed.
In their own words, the following are accounts from men and women well acquainted with these establishments.
A male critic's perspective
[In strip clubs], women become the objects of our lust, worthless as free, thinking human beings and valuable only insofar as they stimulate the audience's hormones. Strippers are jeered at, grabbed, heckled and generally degraded to the level of animals by their audience, no more than animals themselves. In the strip club, a woman is judged not by her intelligence or sensitivity but by how well her body fulfills the patrons' base needs.
One objection to criticism of strip clubs is that since a woman (usually) chooses that particular line of work, there's nothing wrong with it. Nobody gets hurt. A women is free to make her own choices about her body, right?
I would respond by saying that, in the long run, it may not be true that nobody gets hurt. Whenever we see it manifested in beer advertisements or in the newspapers, the perception of women as objects for male use is only reinforced and self-perpetuated, and strip clubs are no different. The consequences of this view of women are obvious; the CU scandal, molestation, domestic abuse and rape. The point is not that one justifies the others; what I am trying to say is that the more people choose to ignore the humanity of women, the easier it becomes to justify acts of violence against them. If more males and females don't begin to see women as intrinsically important and equally valuable human beings, I find it hard to see how the tide of poor treatment of women in our country is going to get any better. Finding better things to do on Friday nights than go to strip clubs (and finding better jobs than stripping!) would be a step in the right direction.
I asked [a stripper] how she dealt with the political and personal of her life, being both a feminist and a dancer. Her reply was something to this extend: “It depends on why people dance. For some girls, they dance because they feel they need the approval of men to feel pretty. Some can’t dance unless they’ve got alcohol in their system. I dance because I make a lot money doing so, and I am my own person. I don’t need men’s approval to feel pretty, but I am empowered by it. In the end, it’s about what I do for my own life and not have to feel ashamed by it. I do it because I make my own schedule and report to no one.”
I thought about her answer and wondered: what if stripping truly does make some women happy because they are in control? What if stripping made them happy because they are empowered by the money? What if they are doing it out of their own choice?
Driving home, I think I’ve come up with the answer for it all, and perhaps said answer is still muddled by my experience as a male with male privilege, but I think that feminism shouldn’t be about what we can get out of it, but how we can make the world a better place.
In the end, what we do shouldn’t be motivated by what we can get out of it, but rather, whether it will positively affect woman?
Does seeing women naked make me happy? Sure. But am I contributing to the comodification of women? Yes. So should I do it in the future? No.
The same thing, I think, goes for this woman. This is not a judgement. It’s merely what I think. But as was brought up in my conversation with her, our views on feminism change everyday, as we learn more, and experience more. Perhaps that’s just the case with me.I recommend to her, “To Be Real,” by Rebecca W
A stripper's perspective
Men outside of the strip club that know you're an exotic dancer sometimes treat you differently. You are more open to harrassment and perhaps even violence or rape because you are a “stripper”.
A female columnist's describes the "stripper effect":
It seems to me that for most women, they play into the sexual parodies because they think they are supposed to, or because they think they can get something out of it. I think a lot of women subconsciously believe they can use their sexuality to make men love them. Who wouldn't, when every guy we know would sell his left ball sack to date Jessica Alba? I call it the "stripper" effect. Splashed all over mainstream television, music and movies is the overwhelming message that men don't pay attention to the conservative girls; they want the ones who turn them on. And women respond appropriately, dolling themselves up to be the sex objects men might fall for.
A female patron's perspective:
Going to a strip club for a bachelor party is fine. Going often or "just for fun" is unacceptable. Lap dances are cheating. The one time I was brought into a club (I was part of a bachelorette party and for some outrageous reason these women wanted to go in one) and witnessed a "lap dance." The woman was rubbing up against him, touching him all over, and showing him her private parts (moving the panties aside). I don't care if they paid for it, that is cheating. I'm sure if a Chippendale was touching me and showing me his di*k my boyfriend would not be nonchalant about it.
A male patron's perspective
I enjoy going to strip clubs and looking at naked women. My wife doesn't mind, as long as I don't get any lapdances then she's ok with it. I'm cool with that, I don't need lapdances. However, I'm not comfortable with her going to see male dancers, I know it's a double standard, but that's the way I feel. She's cool with it, and at any time can say that she's just not comfortable with me going, but she doesn't.
The perspective of a women using her body to make money:
She explains why she sells her body for money. "I had started graduate school. Fairly soon afterward, my father kicked me out of the house. After that, I was struggling to pay my bills, student loans, food, housing, everything, so I got into escorting," she shares. "I don’t believe my dad knows that this is what I do. Honestly, if he found out about it, I really wouldn’t care. He kind of started the cycle. He was never there growing up. The only reason he was there was to give money to us. So the only reason I saw men in the world was to provide money. Honestly, I can get money from other guys and after an hour be done with it. It’s that much easier. I think that if [my father] would have been there for me growing up, I would have been less likely to feel the way I do about men."
A female writer's perspective
Lizz Winstead was shocked by the behaviour of young women she encountered while making a TV programme. Writing on her Huffington Post blog, Winstead said: "They do not understand the influence they have over the women who read them, nor do they accept any responsibility as role models for young women who are coming of age searching for lifestyles to emulate."
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